Posts Tagged ‘accident’

Seeking Awareness or Seeking Pity?

June 29, 2012

When a girl posts a status on facebook along the lines of: “I’m so lonely, why does nobody love me?” we note this is a case of self-pity. This status usually emerges from a girl who only goes three days without a boyfriend. This brings me to my next point: look at the comments on said status; a stream of friends telling her that she’s beautiful, countless hearts made up of punctuation and of course the standard “Awh babe xxxx”. You realise that this girl is seeking awareness. Social networking sites are there to let people know who we are with, who we are friends with and that we are in fact alive.

Let’s take a more serious case. A young teenage girl is left disabled after an accident. From ‘normal’ to ‘the centre of attention’ to (in her own words) ‘forgotten’ She tells others quite vocally that has no friends, no life and nothing to do. We listen and assure her of all the good things in her life however there is a fine, fine line. Her cry for help/awareness is taking over.  Is it right to make everyone painfully aware of her own unhappiness or is she pushing herself into a worse position than before?

I was told to always be happy; no one wants to be friends with a sad person. That’s what I did, I never voluntarily spoke about my spina bifida until a certain point in the friendship. Shouldn’t we encourage others not to linger on what’s happened? Being bitter is the start of a long slippery slope. It’s right to remember and remind others of our past, good or bad, but how can we expect others to see ourselves as ‘us’, when we are tugging a massive elephant into the room?

The girl I’ve mentioned is beautiful, bright and talented. I want to scream at people who think otherwise or see her as ‘disabled’! Is her public declaration of unhappiness a sign of desperation or is it honesty?

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The Worth Of Our Bodies

August 8, 2009
The Worth Of Our BodiesAs a teenager I witnessed many cases of self harming in my peer group. The reasons for which varied from person to person, at the back of the classroom sat the girl with her long sleeved jumper in the middle of summer embarrassed by her apparent need to be in control. Out on the school field stood the girl with the short sleeves, bandage loose from taking it off so many times, showing her ‘war wounds’ to anyone who would pay attention. I am not about to deny what I once did and yes it was a control issue but I dealt with it properly and fortunately did not become addicted to a problem I now feel very strongly about.I understand why people do it and how distressing it can be but after recent events in which I have seen a young friend of mine robbed of all control, in an accident which fate should never have let happen, I have a new found love for the bodies we are given. We only get one of body, unless of course you count surgery which of course is a god send to people who have had similar accidents like my friend, surely this is a reason to look after the ones we have, isn’t the control we seek in keeping our bodies away from harm?

So when I got home today and learnt that an acquaintance of mine had been self harming I was alarmed, worried about this person, slightly frustrated that he would harm is own body when a girl lie in a hospital fighting to regain the control he has abused. I spoke with him, told him I was there for him, I feel I was sympathetic however it was then he asked if I would like to see the scars the following day, I was told that he would show everyone in our class…alarm bells. Was this acquaintance abusing his body for control or attention?

I have had many operations to make my body ‘normal’, to improve my lack of ability. When I was young I didn’t understand; it has only been in recent years in which I have become offended by the constant stream of doctors telling me what is wrong with me and what needs to be improved. This has made me more determined to keep my body the way it is, the ironic thing being that it was the problems which followed my many hospital visits which made me self harm in the first place.

This makes me wander, should children/young adults be told what there is to lose if they self harm/starve themselves into anorexia or should they be told what there is to gain in taking pride and control of their own bodies?

Ali x

For more information on self harming:

http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/Understanding/Understanding+self-harm.htm

For help:

http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/mentalhealth/selfharm

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