Archive for June, 2012

Seeking Awareness or Seeking Pity?

June 29, 2012

When a girl posts a status on facebook along the lines of: “I’m so lonely, why does nobody love me?” we note this is a case of self-pity. This status usually emerges from a girl who only goes three days without a boyfriend. This brings me to my next point: look at the comments on said status; a stream of friends telling her that she’s beautiful, countless hearts made up of punctuation and of course the standard “Awh babe xxxx”. You realise that this girl is seeking awareness. Social networking sites are there to let people know who we are with, who we are friends with and that we are in fact alive.

Let’s take a more serious case. A young teenage girl is left disabled after an accident. From ‘normal’ to ‘the centre of attention’ to (in her own words) ‘forgotten’ She tells others quite vocally that has no friends, no life and nothing to do. We listen and assure her of all the good things in her life however there is a fine, fine line. Her cry for help/awareness is taking over.  Is it right to make everyone painfully aware of her own unhappiness or is she pushing herself into a worse position than before?

I was told to always be happy; no one wants to be friends with a sad person. That’s what I did, I never voluntarily spoke about my spina bifida until a certain point in the friendship. Shouldn’t we encourage others not to linger on what’s happened? Being bitter is the start of a long slippery slope. It’s right to remember and remind others of our past, good or bad, but how can we expect others to see ourselves as ‘us’, when we are tugging a massive elephant into the room?

The girl I’ve mentioned is beautiful, bright and talented. I want to scream at people who think otherwise or see her as ‘disabled’! Is her public declaration of unhappiness a sign of desperation or is it honesty?